n entirely different principle applies in civilized and populated areas. What if, in medieval times, a petty baron, surrounded by similar petty barons, suddenly decided to call himself a duke? You can be damn sure his neighbors would have ganged up to beat the stuffing out of the impetuous rogue. At the very least, the king would have hanged the villain from his own castle.

Then (Left): Rogues like this (an armored knight) pillaged and looted the countryside, often on horseback.


Now (Below): Rogues like this (Senator Newt Gingrich) pillage and loot the countryside, often in a campaign van.

edieval literary types (which were few) would have written about whether the criminal should be beaten to within an inch of his life then burned at the stake, or whether he should be drawn and quartered then trampled to a bloody pulp by a team of well-bred horses.

hese lawyers band together and call themselves "Professional Limited Liability Partnerships" or some such rubbish. "Limited Liability" prevents getting screwed over in a profession that specializes in screwing other people over. I guess lawyers can consider themselves "professionals." After all, weren’t mercenaries little more than professional thieves? Weren’t thugs professional cutthroats?

an you not see why I maintain that "democracy" has utterly complicated our affairs? Once, if a famous rogue slaughtered his former wife and her lover, he would have been sent to the chopping block immediately. His head would have rolled, the peasants would have cheered and the event would have been forgotten in a matter of weeks at most. The process quickly accomplished the goal and didn’t waste a lot of money.